Mental Health and Running
A few years ago I had set myself a goal for the Great North Run, everyone else at the club was encouraging me, I had trained hard and raring to go on the start line. Anita was at home anxiously tracking the race knowing how much this meant to me and the beer was in the fridge to reward my success. I ended up with a personal best by a huge 4 minutes but missed my target time by 19 seconds….I was furious! I got home and Anita welcomed me with a huge well done on the personal best and all I could blurt out was ‘19 seconds!!!!!! 19 seconds!!!!’ I should have been over the moon but I wasn’t! If anything it knocked my confidence and had a real negative impact on my mental health.
I am a keen runner, by keen what I mean is I am competitive, most of all with my own head! Let me explain……..
You have trained hard, done everything you can and it comes to race day. I am grumpy, my race strategy is running through my head and my confidence is leaving me rapidly. Questions run through my head such as ‘I can’t I run that fast? What if I start to quick or too slow? Can I take the pain of the last few miles again?’ I stand on the starting line and look around, some new faces, some I know, I smile, say a few hello’s and try to relax. Those same negative thoughts go through my head only now everyone else looks like a good runner, way better than me!
So what do I do about it, once I start I very quickly get in the zone but I hate those days/moments before a race and I ask myself why? It’s not the Olympics, I am not a pro athlete and to be honest I run purely for enjoyment, so why do I get like this and how do I overcome it? This has taken a lot of time, bringing myself back to the reasons why I started running, to relieve the stress of everyday life. I asked myself a few questions such as ‘If the racing part makes me that unhappy why do I race?’ ‘Why do I think so little of myself and have zero confidence?’ More than anything ‘How do I change it?’
It brought me to something I deliver when I train people in Mental Health First Aid and that is my own Frame of Reference or how I see the world. I never had self confidence, even though I was exceptionally blessed in sport I always looked at what I was doing wrong as opposed to what I did right. Other people had more more faith in me than I did, I wasn’t a natural looking sportsperson, I am 6ft 2, very poor centre of gravity, no balance (gangly somebody described me as!) and often felt others were jealous of me doing well so often tried to bring me down…..my mistake was I believed them!
So I decided to change my approach, one that took the pressure off at every opportunity and it is something I suggest to every runner I speak to. I don’t have target races as that runs the risk of failure, if I do well in a race brilliant, if I don’t….so what? Does it matter as there are plenty more races out there. I don’t really have target times as that also runs the risk of failure, I know what I am capable of but if I don’t manage that time….so what? There are plenty other races and I will continue to do my best. I don’t race other people, I run my own race as this reduces the risk of failure. If I get into a race with somebody else then I am running their race, I am not focusing on my own race. If I finish ahead of some people then great, if I don’t……so what?
My point here is by changing my approach to one that reduces the chance of failure and focuses more on enjoyment, race day is so much better and my head no longer gets the better of me. I cannot talk my way out of a target when the only target is to do my best and enjoy it! Don’t get me wrong, I still have poor races, I had one recently but very quickly knew that it just wasn’t meant to be that day, there are other races and they will be more enjoyable. I still may have the occasional battle with my head but I can now reduce the noise and remember why I run….because I enjoy that buzz of testing myself on that particular day. As a result my mental health is so much better!
So ask yourself when you set yourself targets, whether that be in a sport, work or home…if you reach your potential but miss that target by a fraction is that really failure? I don’t believe it is, the success is the fact that you have reached your potential and that should be celebrated.